candy bar EXPLOSION

fall break was only a month ago, so stop judging me. i’ve been busy having a mental breakdown.

i told you i wasn’t making that name up. also try not to be disappointed when my cake looks like a blob instead of a thing of glory placed upon a yellow ceramic cake stand that just happens to match my serving plate in the background.

1. make some meringue



this involves whipping sugar and egg whites together for a seriously long period of time. you should probably make an iTunes playlist entitled ‘meringue making’.




2. combine that meringue with some other stuff and bake it. this is your crust.


it doesn’t really have jaundice. that’s just the professional lighting in my house.




3. make the cheesy part. aka the filling


while this is super delicious on its own, i don’t think that it quite deserves the title of EXPLOSION. so let’s adjust, shall we?




4. melt some chocolate. try not to burn it, stupid.






don’t look at me. does that look burnt to you? that’s what i thought.


5. use aforementioned chocolate to jazz up the cheesy part.


6. put that sucker in the oven. make sure the oven is on.

why yes, the cake does have a puncture wound in its middle.

you must do this to prevent yourself from contracting salmonella.

aka to make sure it’s done.





dude, can’t handle it.

especially if you’re allergic to chocolate or something. that would suck.



8. you will most likely have some leftover candy. someone suggests saving it for halloween. this is when you laugh in their face. why would you save this delicious candy for bratty children when you could just as easily make..



say that five times fast

pig in a blanket’s better and prettier older sister


sorry i gotta run now. paula deen’s calling to tell me how much she loves my culinary creations.

– c


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